this week's tip | do something that scares you

After writing all about my public squid eating experience, I realized that doing something scary actually feels very rewarding afterwards!

For me, the self-conscious scenario of eating an unconventional food was made worse by the fact that I was sitting in a busy food court, alone, and already feeling exposed.  When you're eating out with somebody, you rarely notice anyone else and you don't really care about how messy you are.  But in lone-dining situations, I always find myself eating very carefully, tying not to spill or slurp.  In all honestly, my self-consciousness probably wasn't even about what I was eating, so much as the vulnerability I felt at having an audience.

It's not that I'm agoraphobic, or anthropophobic, but am I alone in feeling like I'm being stared at and judged when I eat in front of a bunch of strangers by myself?  Even if no one is looking!  It's a tense situation, I don't like how it feels and I try to find corner tables whenever I can... but having said that, I will own to feeling a triumphant sense of victory when I'm successfully done eating at a center table, then I can rise from the table and leave gracefully - without tripping, dropping anything or bumping anything!

This empowering, triumphant feeling makes it all worth it and it's why I repeatedly choose to eat in a food court or crowded restaurant, alone.  It's like a test for my confidence and a way to desensitize myself from that feeling of discomfort.  With frequent, successful experiences: I'm sure it's bound to work.  I'm bound to overcome this fear of dining alone - whether I spill everything, break the chair simply by sitting on it, or topple the whole table over.  Yep, eventually, it's bound to work.  And eventually, I'll stop picturing these types of worst-case scenarios!

In a moment of sheer zen, I envision myself casually sitting at a fancy, busy restaurant all alone.  I'm drinking red wine over a white table cloth and white summer dress, eating raw oysters, squid or anything else unconventional that I feel like.  I imagine the careless feeling within, that my grown confidence has bestowed and I see myself smiling as I remember how afraid of this exact scenario I used to be.  I can feel how wonderful it is.  I am chilled.  I have slayed that dragon, conquered something that used to terrify me and now I am cool, collected and chic.  I wish the same for you.

NYE | time to sparkle & shine!

The most festive of evenings is almost upon us once more!  An evening to farewell the past and turn to the future.  An evening of wonder, possibility, excitement and magic!  I'm talking about New Year's Eve of course - absolutely the best time to add sparkle and shine to every outfit!  Ladies, that means sequined dresses, glitter nails and shoes, shimmer eye shadow, fascinators and lots of bling!  It just would't be a celebration without them! 

In my New Year's Eve post last year, I wrote about why I love to sparkle but also talked of tradition and what New Year's Eve means to me from a Russian perspective.  This year, somewhat ironically, Will and I are going to be reigning in 2015 with a bash at Austin's Russian House Restaurant!  I hope it won't all be in Russian - since that would be uber-awkward for Will - but we decided to go because we both love the food, the atmosphere and have heard that their parties are quite notorious.  All this promises a good time...  

The evening also includes a masquerade theme, so no jewelled fascinator for yours truly this year, but I have found a mask every bit as glam to take its place AND compliment my dress!  I'll share photos of everything afterwards // right now, here are some sparkly, shiny, incredible items I'm coveting for this New Year's Eve:

O.b.s.e.s.s.e.d. with these earrings from
Anthropologie $248

Yes please! to this beanie (on sale!) from
Tilly's.com $12.99

Glitter heels are a MUST!  Like these, from
Steve Madden  $99.95

Some arm candy (on sale!!) from
Anthropologie $29.95

This year I'm crazy about sequins in straight-lines
or geometric patterns! SOOO pretty, like this stunner from
La Maison $374

Or this jaw dropping number from
Parker Hayden $396

Or this to-die-for skirt, a steal from
Express $98 

What are you coveting for your New Year's Eve celebration?  What are your plans?  Hope you have a fantastic one, no matter what // and hope to be hearing from you soon!

accountability

With more than half the year done and dusted // only four months of 2014 remain people!! // I thought it would be a great time to revisit those NYE goals I set for myself all those long months (that feel like yesterday) ago.  Nothing like a bit of accountability in the middle of an otherwise carefree summer!

Here is what my goals looked like: 

I made a pretty collage AND cut out the word resolution to make it seem
less daunting!

My first category was travel goals - domestic and international: none of which have yet been met. With the purchase of a new house looming on the horizon, it will be a miracle if any of these are actually met this year... but I won't give up hope!

Next was my personal expansion goals which were to meditate daily, continue reiki, grow herbs and take a hair styling course: again, I seem to have failed in each one other than the herbs!  I refuse to focus on negatives, so let me assure you that while I'm no master at herb growing - my basil, dill and peppermint are all looking sublime!  As for the rest, I am no longer interested in a hair styling course (what the???) and plan to do more reiki soon - hopefully to be followed by meditating!  Still got four months to do this!

In the health category I am kicking serious butt!  I have done every one of these // very successfully, YAY //  I have not only 'cut down'  my sweet tooth, but almost entirely cut out refined sugars from my diet; I am more active and use the time every morning when the pups stretch to stretch also; AND I've cut back on caffeine substantially!  Feeling very good about this category :) now it makes sense why I've lost so much weight since moving to ATX!

In my last category I had overall improvement goals which were to: write more, cook more, keep existing plants living, contact friends and fam more, walk the pups more and write on Baxter's blog more... well here I had a real hit and miss.  I don't write more - but I have managed to blog on a more frequent basis than I used to; I am cooking more and loving it; while I haven't been able to save several plants (eg. Xmas poinsettia's), I am much better at caring for them in general; I've become 100% better at staying in touch with peeps; definitely walk the pups more; but have let Baxter's blog down in a big way...

It's interesting to look at these goals and self-assess at this point.  I realize how much I've changed and how some things just aren't a priority anymore.  I'd still like to hold myself accountable for my health and personal development, but now new things are important that I didn't even know about back then.  I'm glad I set those goals that have shown be just how much I've evolved over the past seven months!  If I had to set new goals it would look like this:

-travel// domestic: Boston, Maine.  International: Ireland & the UK (because one should always keep reaching for the stars!)

-personal expansion// reiki, meditate, affirmations, practice more metaphysics, read more, listen better, learn more. (esp about plants), increase vocabulary, practice foreign languages, keep trying not to judge others!

- health// keep kicking butt, but also keep oil pulling, drinking lemon water, doing your own nails, being strict about what goes on and into your body, ride a bicycle more often and exercise more.

- overall improvement// write more, cook more, continue to stay out of family drama (remember two sides & true intentions!), learn more about blogging/ writing and freelance to turn passion into career! Never stop trying to reach those goals - but in the mean time, find a job that pays better!  And don't be so hard on yourself - remember: you are right where you're meant to be, always!

y is for bucket list item No.1 | Yellowstone National Park

Although the A-Z challenge is coming to an end, I'm starting  a new series on the blog for my bucket list items.  In honour of the letter 'Y,' I've chosen to write about, and share a few pictures of, Wyoming's Yellowstone National Park.

this beautiful photo from Wikipedia Commons

Will got to go here last year and I sat at home while he sent me snapshot after snapshot of the incredibly beautiful things he saw.  Since then I've had it down on my bucket list.  Here are my top reasons why:

1.  The Petrified Forest

2.  Amethyst Mountain

3.  The enormous variety of animals that live there!
It would be like visiting a safari in Africa, only you'd see moose, bobcats, bears: just to name a few!

Bison in Yellowstone - one of the last remaining herds in the wild
pic thanks so wikipedia.

4.  The one-of-a-kind water bodies that are completely unique to the area like the geysers or the Mammoth Hot Springs (pictured at the top of post) and the famous Morning Glory Pool:

another awesome pic thanks to the Wikipedia Commons 

5. The changing seasons because as you know, I'm obsessed :) Going to Yellowstone in spring would guarantee breathtaking views of meadows in bloom:

In summer all the animals would be most active.  Autumn would broadcast the vast array yellow, orange and red hues throughout the forest canopy. And winter would truly be a white wonderland:

6.  It's a super-volcano and the ancient paths of lava flow have solidified into the landscape, something I very much want to see!

spring, Austin-style

If you're in the U.S (or anywhere in the Northern Hemisphere) you're rejoicing at the long anticipated arrival of spring!  For most of us this winter was especially brutal and while many northern yards are still covered in snow - it seems less daunting now that spring is the official season at last.  Here in Austin flowers are blooming, bees are buzzing, birds chirping and warm weather clothes are emerging once more.  I think it's so nice to be able to capture a little bit of that wonder and contain it within the house.  Bouquets are divine but they die so quickly :(

As I write this next part, I know my friends from Atlanta are going to laugh because they warned Will and I before we moved here that Austin was a town for hippies; it is known for it's quirkiness, environmentally-friendliness, organic/ local farming, relaxed and holistic approach to life.  After I wrote about Eastern medicine, some of them thought I'd been 'sipping the cool-aide' and now ... this spring, in the spirit of rejuvenation, new years resolutions and doing my part for the circulation of Austin's quirky reputation: I'm planting! hehehe (enter comments below :P).

Anyway, I say planting and not gardening because we're in a rental so all my plants will be in pots.  I love decorative flower pots (called planters in the US) and the idea of having them neatly arranged in my herb window.  Did I mention that our rental has a herb window in the kitchen?  Oh yes, it's one of my favourite things about this place!  (and another definite ode to Austin's unique-ness, considering you'd be hard pressed to find herb windows anywhere else in America but it's really common here).

Once I'd made my mind up about planting, I became quite taken with these flower pots from anthropologie:

and loved the idea of them sitting happily inside my herb window so I went on down to the store, money in hand and smile on face, picturing all the while how I would arrange them, only to be disappointed by their lack of drainage holes :(  Of course avid gardeners already know the solution is drilling holes using a masonry drill but that wasn't something either Will or I fancied doing.  It all turned out for the best though, when I found this (very Austin) herb growing kit at my local pharmacy (I know, weird right?)

That made my decision easy, I would replant all of my herbs into matching terracotta pots and save any decorative ones I come across later for my other plants.  I think having them uniformed will look equally as nice:

My prickly pear cactus and prized souvenir from our Christmas in the Texas desert got a very beautiful, one of a kind pot of his own.  As you know after said desert trip, I became obsessed with southwestern decorating and knew from the moment we got this lil prickly pear that he needed to be planted in a bright, southwestern themed pot to achieve maximum memory-jogging-of-time-spent-in-desert affect.  All this time I've searched for a pot that would do just that and worried my little cactus would start to die because he desperately needed a bigger pot; then last weekend when Will and I grabbed a taco lunch next to an authentic Mexican pottery shop where I happened to find the peice de resistance to my herb window!

'handmade in Mexico'

isn't it splendid?

I read somewhere that when re-potting a cactus, tongs should always be used.
Definitely came in handy 'cause I was would have been quite perplexed
about this process otherwise...

Voila!
He's a little small but will soon look perfect in his brand new pot.
PS: replanting using tongs was a breeze

my current craze | barn style furniture

Now that Will and I have visited several display houses, I keep envisioning our dream home: complete with southwestern decor and thick, solid timber barn style furniture.

I'm loving heavy, bulky, rectangle dining tables:

Restoration Hardware, Boulangerie

Restoration Hardware, Farmhouse

especially those with a bench:

Pottery Barn, Benchwright

Pottery Barn, Wells

a chunky coffee table with thick hardware:

World Market, Henry

a dark, leather, over sized couch with bright pillows and throws:

Pottery Barn, Turner

Pottery Barn, Manhattan

Pottery Barn, Pearce

an entire barn style bedroom, complete with wooden beams on the ceiling.  So tranquil that it that makes me feel like I'm on a getaway to a mountainous log cabin every time I enter:

Rustic, traditional bedroom

Romantic, country bedroom

Mountain, rustic bedroom

And outdoor furniture that's solid, large and can withstand the test of time; as well as many parties or simply perfect, romantic evenings under the stars:

Pottery Barn, Chatham

Pottery Barn, Chatham

Pottery Barn, Saybrook

Pottery Barn, Saybrook

the weekend

Will and I spent the weekend dreaming.  Dreaming of the perfect house, yard, neighborhood, furniture and lifestyle.

Since Austin is one of America's fastest growing cities, model homes in new development areas are popping up everywhere and like many couples our age, Will and I like to visit model homes and compare floor-plans, practicality, suburbs and all that fun stuff which is exactly what we spent our perfectly warm Austin weekend doing.

Just a four bedroom house for ... yep there are four of us :P

You might think that's too much space for Will, me and our two tiny dogs...
but one of the rooms would DEFINITELY be a gift wrap room
just like the one they had in this display home... every girl's dream 

 we loved this concept of a game/ man space for Will and his friends.
Weren't so crazy about this being carpeted though...

Such a perfect office <3

and unique wall shelving... more <3

Another house we loved with blue features, dark brown roof,
garage in the back - two bedrooms, one office ...

...this awesome, casual and comfortable meal area
adjacent to kitchen...

...and this outdoor entertainment area that seamlessly blends
with the indoor living space through french doors for the perfect parties...
i could see it so vividly and i loved it

After so many dreams cast out into space, it was nice to wrap up the weekend by having a few realized immediately as we hit the outlet malls for the President's Day sales and made the most of our remaining  rest of our Christmas gift cards.

Ok, maybe we weren't quite done with the dreaming...

Cow hide office chair $1,200 Restoration Hardware
 (yep, that's outlet price) - but can you really
put a price on dreams?