tuesday tunes {Youth by Daughter}

It's been a strange, introspective, educational week.  On Thursday, I saw the Theory of Everything at the cinema, which had a profound and lasting affect; then over the weekend I saw a movie called A Long Way Down, which wasn't the best movie I've ever seen, but it is thought provoking.  Anyway... the highlight of the film was the song played in the scene where J.J. realizes he's being played for a fool: Youth by Daughter.  As I tend to, I instantly downloaded the song and listened to it about a million times, first because of its catchy melody, then because the lyrics resonated with me.

I've been brooding lately.  About life, humanity, myself and my perceived lack of achievement.  Discovering this song was a wow moment because it's exactly how I feel.  Here are the lyrics:

shadows settle on the place that you left

our minds are troubled by the emptiness

destroy the middle, it's a waste of time

from the perfect start, to the finish line

and if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones

cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs

setting fire to our insides for fun

collecting names of the lovers that went wrong, 

the lovers that went wrong

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth

chasing visions of our futures

one day we'll reveal the truth

that one will die before he gets there

and if you're still bleeding, you're the lucky ones

cause most of our feelings, they are dead and they are gone

we're setting fire to our insides for fun

collecting pictures from the flood that wrecked our home

it was a flood that wrecked this home

and you caused it

and you caused it

and you caused it

well i've lost it all, i'm just a silhouette

a lifeless face that you will soon forget

and my eyes are damp from the words you left

ringing in my head when you broke my chest

ringing in my head when you broke my chest

and if you're in love, then you are the lucky one

cause most of us are bitter over someone

setting fire to our insides for fun

to distract our hearts from ever missing them

but i'm forever missing him.

and you caused it. 

and you caused it.

and you caused it.

Goosebumps for me, every time I hear this ethereal song with soul quacking lyrics.  To me, it's about the accumulation of pain, the corruption of innocence and loss of childhood.  The realization that the world is a major disappointment, full of heart ache, followed by the desensitizing steps we take to protect  ourselves from further pain.  Yet, it seems to implore the listener to hold on to their pure, youthful naivety.  Not to loose it along the way, but to consider themselves lucky to be able to feel at all.  The alternative would be to become a silhouette, a lifeless, soon forgotten face.  It goes hand in hand with the Theory of Everything, and perks me up, because Stephen Hawking didn't allow this to happen to himself at all.  He remains one of the lucky ones.

Ultimately I think it's an empowering song.  Sort of saying: look at me, you don't want to to end up like this.  The words destroy the middle, it's a waste of time. from the perfect start, to the finish line together with we are the reckless, we are the wild youth.  chasing visions of our future. one day we'll reveal the truth, that one will die before he gets there; seem to caution against rushing through life without savouring the present moment, since that's all there ever really is.  Almost as if the lyrics are telling you that the secret to not becoming broken and cynical is to find a way to be happy in, and savour, the moment without letting it crush you.

I love it and I'm somewhat blown away by the message that the universe has conveyed to me twice this past week.  I've had the moment of wallowing self pity, followed by the swift kick up the ass I needed.  I won't be corrupted, numb, lifeless or bitter: there are no excuses for failure.

What do you think?  Bit heavy for a Tuesday morning?

this week's tip | improve your karma, try trash free

To recommence this segment for a brand new year, I want to kick it off with a topic that's very near to my heart: the trash free lifestyle.

A trash free (also known as zero waste) lifestyle is exactly what it sounds like ~

 a way of life in which nothing is contributed to landfill.  

Where everything you use is either recyclable, repurpose-able or compostable: 

in an effort to decrease the global magnitude of trash and, consequently, the devastating toll it's taking on our Mother Earth.  

Happily, this lifestyle is gaining popularity and many bloggers have worked their butts off to increase its awareness and share their stories.  My favourites are:

Trash is for tossers (excellent summary article by the author here)

Trash Free Year

no trash project 

Trash Free Living here or here

While I'm not even close to mastering the ultimate goal of absolutely no trash, like some of the above gurus: I have taken very conscious steps to reduce the amount of trash leaving this household.  Right now we are down to just one biodegradable, tall bin liner per week!!   Fortunately, we live in a city that's very environmentally aware and amazingly has its own trash free by 2040 goal, making it very easy to be proactive in the lifestyle here in Austin; but I know this isn't the case everywhere.  If you live somewhere without a recycling program but still wish to jump on board, there are some amazing suggestions here and here.

The top 11 steps I've taken to become trash free:

1.  diligently recycling everything that's allowed!  Plastic, paper, cardboard, steel cans and tins, unbroken glass, polystyrene and so on.  This takes so much out of the bin - I'd say two thirds at least  - and I'm frequently astonished at cities (ahem Atlanta) that don't recycle!! 

2.  donating all unwanted clothes, household items and furniture to places like Goodwill.  Neither Will nor I have ever curbed anything. 

3.   grocery stores throughout Austin don't give you plastic bags for your purchases, but even if they did: I'd still only take my reusable grocery totes!

4.   repurposing as many items as I can: used candle tins have become catch-alls and flowerpots (by making nail holes for drainage underneath) // old Birchbox boxes are used as present boxes // mason jars are all over the house serving any purpose you can think of - tea canisters, dry herb containers, bath salt holders, drinking and cocktail glasses... you name it!

5.  buying in bulk wherever I can: like dog food, aforementioned bath salts, dish washing detergent and liquid hand soap.  Back at the house these all get distributed into glass jars, yes, even the hand and dish soap: meaning I get to recycle one large item of packaging, instead of several small ones.

6.  I bought a re-usable BPA free cup from Starbucks for $1 so that I don't have to constantly use and discard their paper ones, which adds up to a lot for me.  The plastic cup literally pays for itself within the next few visits because as soon as you mention that you have one, Starbucks gives you 10c off your beverage!  

**

I know drinking from plastic, even BPA free, isn't for everyone because of the other toxins it leaks, I just haven't made that leap yet, but Starbucks (and many other places) have excellent and very fancy ceramic alternatives!

7.  using live or dried elements of nature as seasonal decorations instead of plastic/ synthetic ones.  Over the past two Christmases, I have incorporated the discarded live pine tree trimmings from hardware stores - turning them into garlands, bouquets, arrangements and wreaths.  That way, once the season is over, I return them to the earth so that they may come full circle. 

**

 I've also completely boycotted plastic gift wrap paper, opting instead for butcher's paper, recycled paper and twine or cloth ribbons; which are all far quicker 'biodegraders'.  

(my Xmas gift wrap pics here .  Yes, the foliage is shamefully plastic, but 

I want to mention that I've been reusing it 3 years in a row). 

***

   There are so many other raw materials you can use throughout the year, like cotton stalks for spring or hay bails, dried wheat and fruit for autumn!  Be as creative as you like 

(and share your ideas along the way!)

8.  Will and I drink a lot of tea and I became very aware of the amount of used tea bags we were discarding, so some time ago we started buying the tea we most often drink (earl grey and jasmine green) in bulk, loose leaf form.  Now we simply steep the leaves through a stainless steel mesh tea net and are able to use the old leaves as compost, significantly reducing the amount of bags in the kitchen bin!

9.  cleaning products and methods have been the most trash producing in our home.  I'm a huge germaphobe and don't like using soggy hand towels or cloths, so had always used paper towels or clorox wipes for cleaning messes.  But just like the tea bags, one day I noticed the amount of these in our bin, found out the wipes aren't biodegradable and I decided to try something different.  Old cotton washcloths with marks or stains that weren't coming out became rags that I now use in conjunction with disinfectant spray.  Luckily, we had so many of these that I'm able to dry them out in between several uses - then it's off to the wash!  Leaving nothing for the landfill and only one recyclable plastic spray bottle every couple of weeks. 

10.  although I love to hand-write, still keep a journal and often write blog posts or work assignments by hand before typing them up, I've started using scrap paper (like bills, letters from the vet & bank, not to mention the envelopes they arrive in) to write these drafts.  This ensures I don't waste a clean sheet of paper on something I'll inevitably throw away... even if it is destined for recycling.

11.  as a doggy mama, I value the importance of how quickly doo-doo bags can add up and only choose biodegradable, compostable options like these.

I know I still have a long way to go and I also know that all I can ever control are my own actions, but I implore you to consider the massive strain our planet is already under and hope you'll agree that it's worth making yourself more accountable for the footprints you're leaving behind.  If we could each decrease our amount of weekly rubbish by even 5%: the overall result would decrease global trash and benefit our planet drastically!  When  I read articles like this one, I know the time has come for me to make a change and simply being too lazy to wash something is no longer an excuse I can validate for myself.  I truly appreciate you reading and hope to hear your feedback, or the steps you're taking to help soon :)

good enough for the very best

Randomly enough, after weeks and weeks of stifling, unbearable heat here in Austin; a thunderstorm moved in last night and has turned the weather cold and grey.  With one more week left of summer, I didn't expect to be spending this weekend snug in bed under a blanket, but what could be better on a day like today?

Grey weather always makes me pensive and I've been thinking a lot about my week, this year, my life.  On Tuesday something happened that made me cry the kind of deep, heaving sobs that come from far, far within: when the one person in my life I could ever call 'idol' paid me the highest compliment and gave me a shout out for yet another of her successes at New York City's Couture Fashion Week.  I felt beyond humbled - maybe what I felt was closer to shock - that someone who's world renown as a leading couturier, someone I revere and feel honoured to just know, would remember one of the little people, like me.  Since then, I've been reliving our entire relationship and reconsidering what she means in my life...

Her name is Nina Gleyzer and I met her for the first time in February 2011 as a fresh-faced, wide-eyed new-comer to New York City, the Waldorf Astoria, Couture Fashion Week and the fashion industry.  I was asked to fill in for the editor of an Atlanta based fashion magazine, who was unable to attend the event due to a prior work commitment, and to say I was overjoyed is a serious understatement!  I was flying higher than ever before in my life, seeing The City and the glitz and glamour of the fashion industry for the first time.  There's nothing, ever, like the first time.

I remember everything: the freezing chill that winded me as I stepped out of LaGuardia airport; the sleet on the ground; the excited butterflies that swarmed the pit of my stomach as I was ushered to the cab line and finally witnessed with my own two eyes, the arrival of iconic yellow cabs of Manhattan, followed by the surreal ride over the bridge and the vision of that most worshiped skyline unfolding before me...

SIGH.

Of course, that was nothing at all compared to the fruit bats that promptly ate and replaced my stomach-butterflies when we actually entered New York City: where my expectations and everything I thought I knew of the buildings, landmarks and streets, dissipated.  I realized in that moment that no matter how much you obsess over movies, books, webpages or magazine articles about New York - you'll never truly know the city until you visit.  It's overwhelming.  It's incredible.  Indescribable. One of the best places on Earth.    

I couldn't believe my luck when we pulled up in front of the Hilton on the Avenue of America's!  I was staying here?! Never before had I seen such a grand hotel, such luxury, nor so much high fashion and evident wealth in one place at the one time!  Louis Vuitton boots, Prada handbags, mink fur coats, tiny dogs wearing diamond encrusted collars... this really was like every movie I'd ever seen // and that was  just the hotel lobby!  I tried my best to act like I belonged, despite the neon THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HERE AND I'M UTTERLY OVERWHELMED billboard hovering above my head!  But, it was New York after all, no one noticed or cared.  Bliss!

After getting my key, I practically ran to my (beautiful) room, where I immediately flung open the curtains and just stood starring at the view before me with tears of joy in my eyes for several minutes. I took a much needed soak in the garden tub, had a meal and tried to compose myself, before I getting ready and leisurely wandering over to the Waldorf where I suppressed many excited squeals as I checked in as press for (you guessed it) the first time in my life!  It was in this state of elated gratitude that I took my place in the second row, notebook on lap, and took in the show.  Impeccable dress after impeccable dress flowed down the runway and the evening consisted of six designers total, two cocktail breaks and three hours.  But two designers stood out to everyone: Suzie Turner with her feathered ballgown masterpieces; and Nina Gleyzer with her timeless, Chanel-chic.

While I had interviewed designers before, none had been of this caliber and I was nervous.  Many prey upon that and act snooty.  Not Nina.  I can't really describe what it felt like to meet her, but I have always imagined it would feel like meeting Mademoiselle Chanel.  She was so confidant, so poised yet so passionate, that I was overcome with emotion and immediately had to find a corner to draft up my article in a trance of admiration.  That has never happened with anyone else.

After that, came the larger-than-life after party and two more magical, whirlwind days in Manhattan.  Those were two days of snow, blistering cold and exploring the city.  Two evenings of runways, interviews, canape's and cocktails.  When I returned to Atlanta, I submitted my articles and, feeling somewhat deflated, carried on freelancing - business as usual and nothing as glamorous as high fashion or New York City.

Two weeks later, the Editor in Chief of the fashion magazine called me with the highest praise: Nina Gleyzer herself had read my article and wanted to thank me personally!  I was floored!  Anyone who actually reads what I wrote about her will see why!  Of course, I instantly re-read said article and all of those feelings of awe I experienced upon meeting Nina, came rushing back.  She is a force.  And yet, she noticed me.  Little old me: interviewing internationally renown designers for the very first time and stumbling horribly along the way.  She wanted to thank ME for my praise - which was essentially putting down on paper how her composure made me feel self-conscious, unrefined and somewhat intimidated! Thank ME for esteeming her and her collection.  That what my first glimpse at Nina Gleyzer: an untarnished soul that's remained humble and grateful despite decades in the corrupting high fashion industry which takes only months to destroy lesser beings.

Another few weeks went by when suddenly we were being re-introduced at a charity event in Atlanta.  'So you're the talented girl who wrote such a beautiful article about me,' she casually said, loud enough for our circle and bystanders to hear, while I turned a vivid shade of red!  'Come see me at my atelier some time, I would love to chat with you.'  And just like that, began a life-changing, heart wrenching relationship between little ol' me and a woman of the highest strength and caliber I've ever encountered.  We spent the next few months rewriting her website, because she liked the way I described her clothes artwork; smoking, snacking and drinking lots of coffee along the way.  It was for these measly wesbite write ups that she remembered me, and thanked me, when her turn in the spotlight came once more and she received special accolades during last week's S/S 2015 Couture Fashion Week in NYC.

It blows my mind because while I gave her a few written descriptions for her website, she had given me something I can never quantify or fully express.  It was always simply an honour being in her presence: she is a big deal and she knows it!  But amazingly, she encouraged me.  Inspired me. Believed in me.  Loved and cared for me.  Most importantly, she was always brutally honest with me. Her holler in my direction made me weep with humility and just awe of the woman I worship, but now that I think about it, I wonder why it came as such a surprise at all.   I quickly saw, while working with her, that Nina has a tight-knit team of photographers, models, publications, buyers, students and so forth: all loyal to her and every one of whom she was loyal to in return. She treated them all just like she treated me: with genuine warmth, acceptance and beaming pride.

Before I met Nina Gleyzer, my impression of the big-shots in the fashion industry was that they were all exceedingly arrogant.  That they dispensed of people easily and claimed the achievements of those around them as their own. Nina removed my prejudice, but still remains a diamond in the rough, who values relationships and quickly moves from being an inspiration, an extraordinary visionary and master couturier into the hearts and circle of family, to anyone fortunate enough to work with her.  To me, Nina is like New York City: elegant, timeless, abundant, resilient and the height of style.  Urging all those around to be strong, believe in themselves and become the best they can be, while utterly accepting them the way they are.  Indeed I can't think of one without the other, both having made such dramatic impacts on my life: my first impressions of the Big City in which I was overcome when I met the only woman in the world I want to resemble.... and how they both forever changed my perception of freedom and blew my mind.

I remember reading somewhere once, that while people may forget your words or actions, they will never forget how you made them feel.  Nina made me feel talented.  Capable of anything. She used to tell me to follow my dreams and damn the consequences - to grasp what I wanted with all my might and never, never let go or give up.  On gloomy days like today when I am full of reflection: I wonder at myself and my self doubt, for if I am good enough for Nina Gleyzer - then I know I am good enough for the very best!

one of my all-time favourite Nina Gleyzer creations

all audience eyes upon her masterpiece creations <3

I've always felt extremely honoured to be considered part of the team 

NB// The link above to the aforementioned Nina article was indeed written by me and has been published completely unedited: but due to contractual loop holes, the Editor in Chief of the e-gazine has since claimed it as her own.

this week's tip | how to avoid the 'petty purchases' conflict

Whether you're a young couple that's starting out in life like Will and I, or a couple that's on a budget; chances are, one member of the relationship wants pretty, new things more often than the other and feels the need to justify certain purchases from time to time.  In fact, this petty purchases conflict seems to be inevitable in most households no matter the relationship phase!

In our home, I'm usually the culprit or purchaser (surprised? I think not...) and my weakness and compulsion is things that make the house smell good, which are harder to hide than, say... a top (oh honey, I've had this for ages, you never notice! - sound familiar?).  I like to have a candle burning beside me whenever I write, read or have a bath and I light one at least once a week inside our wardrobe to keep our clothes smelling fresh.  Basically, Will knows the moment he steps a foot through the front door whenever I've spent money on fragranced candles, satchels or wax for the burners (especially if I change the scent!) and this is followed by a nice, lengthy conversation that goes a little like: "LENA!! Do we really need this right now? This is a rental for heaven's sake.  We're buying a house soon, you need to stop these petty purchases!"   :)

**My usual justifications include 'it's still cheaper than if I was a smoker,' 'studies have shown that clean smelling air is cleaner, period' and 'the place is old and smells bad without it.' **  - NB: I do not condone arguing!  Just saying.

I have found that his negative reaction is heightened when the house smells 'girly,' 'fuity,' or 'cakey.'  I also discovered, when I purchased a masculine-scented reed diffuser for his bathroom, that he didn't say a word about it!  Being a loving, caring wife, I decided to see if I could make him happier by switching out my favourite home scents for spicier, woodier, more masculine ones and, wouldn't you know it, I had positive results!  He definitely stopped complaining about me 'wasting money on things that smell like sh-' well bad!  And now he only grumbles when he notices a new (or different) candle standing on the coffee table or in my office - not the smell!

Now I've come to believe that you can avoid the petty purchases conflict (or decrease it at least!) by finding a balance between what you both like!  I'm lucky in the home scents department because there are so many fragrances available these days to please both male and female alike, but I believe with a little thought and experimentation, you can apply this to just about anything!  Maybe think about how the purchase is a good thing (does it increase your confidence etc) and convey that to your other half who may not understand.  Good luck!  I'd love to hear how it works out!  And I'd love to know what are some of your 'petty purchases?'      

accountability

With more than half the year done and dusted // only four months of 2014 remain people!! // I thought it would be a great time to revisit those NYE goals I set for myself all those long months (that feel like yesterday) ago.  Nothing like a bit of accountability in the middle of an otherwise carefree summer!

Here is what my goals looked like: 

I made a pretty collage AND cut out the word resolution to make it seem
less daunting!

My first category was travel goals - domestic and international: none of which have yet been met. With the purchase of a new house looming on the horizon, it will be a miracle if any of these are actually met this year... but I won't give up hope!

Next was my personal expansion goals which were to meditate daily, continue reiki, grow herbs and take a hair styling course: again, I seem to have failed in each one other than the herbs!  I refuse to focus on negatives, so let me assure you that while I'm no master at herb growing - my basil, dill and peppermint are all looking sublime!  As for the rest, I am no longer interested in a hair styling course (what the???) and plan to do more reiki soon - hopefully to be followed by meditating!  Still got four months to do this!

In the health category I am kicking serious butt!  I have done every one of these // very successfully, YAY //  I have not only 'cut down'  my sweet tooth, but almost entirely cut out refined sugars from my diet; I am more active and use the time every morning when the pups stretch to stretch also; AND I've cut back on caffeine substantially!  Feeling very good about this category :) now it makes sense why I've lost so much weight since moving to ATX!

In my last category I had overall improvement goals which were to: write more, cook more, keep existing plants living, contact friends and fam more, walk the pups more and write on Baxter's blog more... well here I had a real hit and miss.  I don't write more - but I have managed to blog on a more frequent basis than I used to; I am cooking more and loving it; while I haven't been able to save several plants (eg. Xmas poinsettia's), I am much better at caring for them in general; I've become 100% better at staying in touch with peeps; definitely walk the pups more; but have let Baxter's blog down in a big way...

It's interesting to look at these goals and self-assess at this point.  I realize how much I've changed and how some things just aren't a priority anymore.  I'd still like to hold myself accountable for my health and personal development, but now new things are important that I didn't even know about back then.  I'm glad I set those goals that have shown be just how much I've evolved over the past seven months!  If I had to set new goals it would look like this:

-travel// domestic: Boston, Maine.  International: Ireland & the UK (because one should always keep reaching for the stars!)

-personal expansion// reiki, meditate, affirmations, practice more metaphysics, read more, listen better, learn more. (esp about plants), increase vocabulary, practice foreign languages, keep trying not to judge others!

- health// keep kicking butt, but also keep oil pulling, drinking lemon water, doing your own nails, being strict about what goes on and into your body, ride a bicycle more often and exercise more.

- overall improvement// write more, cook more, continue to stay out of family drama (remember two sides & true intentions!), learn more about blogging/ writing and freelance to turn passion into career! Never stop trying to reach those goals - but in the mean time, find a job that pays better!  And don't be so hard on yourself - remember: you are right where you're meant to be, always!

this week's tip | house hunting

As I mentioned in my last post, Will and I have decided to stay in Texas and make a home close to the Austin area.  We spent much of the first half of 2014 looking at neighbourhoods and house prices, trying to see what feels right and where we would be comfortable.  Now, with that finally agreed upon, we've spent the past week in full house-hunting mode!

As exciting as it is looking at various estates and houses, fantasizing about decorating and buying new things: there are a lot of frustrating aspects of house hunting too.  One of the most frustrating things for me is finding a house we really like, walking through it, liking it even more and then being disappointed for one reason or another.  Regardless of whether the disappointment comes from the house selling from underneath us, or because of structural issues or blah blah: every time I see a house / floor plan I like, I begin to envision our life there.  I imagine what every room will contain, I picture our existing furniture mixed with fabulous new pieces, I see the kitchen cabinets painted a certain way, what kind of landscaping would be done and even the letterbox!  It crushes me when my dream bubble bursts and I need to farewell my mental home! 

Granted, so far it's only happened twice, but to stop myself (and hopefully some other eager buyers too) getting carried away again, I've made a checklist based on months of experience and some advice from a couple of friends that are in real estate:    

1)  See a Seller's Disclosure Form!

Assuming this form is filled out honestly - it is major (hence being #1).  It contains all the information that the seller knows about the house: how old it is, what repairs or remodeling have taken place, whether any insurance claims have been made, whether anything needs repairing or replacing, and assuming appliances are included: how old they are plus warranty information etc.  

2)  Don't take their word for it

The Seller's Disclosure Form is a great beginning and will tell you things your real estate agent often can't, like whether the water is septic, or when the roof was replaced.  In an ideal world, everyone fills it out 100% honestly without omitting a single detail, but you never know what the seller's situation is - or how desperate they are to sell so it's always best to double check what they say.

3)  Professional inspection

This is where the professionals come in!  In most cases, they will be able to call baloney on anything that's misleading in the Seller's Disclosure form and they are vital for ascertaining that the foundation, roof, electric work and drainage are all sound.  Choosing a home inspection company can be daunting, but here's a detailed article I've found that helped Will and I narrow it down.

4)  Go along for the inspection! 
It actually amazes me that people don't.  Maybe I'm a total cynic, but I believe it's always best to see things for yourself and be part of a process that determines one of the biggest investments you make in your life.  Not that inspectors aren't trustworthy by any means - but I'd rather see any problems firsthand and immediately get their professional opinion about whether they're easy to fix or can eventually lead to larger issues.  Being present for the inspection will definitely help you get to know your future home and as you walk through the halls and rooms, receiving positive feedback from the inspector, feel free to start dreaming... <3  

This advice is for myself as much as anyone else!  Hopefully it will serve as a reminder before the next time I jump the gun and begin mentally moving into a place with (according to Will) obvious foundation issues!!  From experience, it's not worth getting excited purely based on the appearance of a house.  Sure, it ticks all the aesthetic boxes, but do you really want to live in a beautiful mess that's crumbling in around you? If so, you'd better have thousands of dollars spare to invest into repairs, because you'll never be able to sell it otherwise!

this week's tip | don't drink the water

One thing I absolutely, wholeheartedly recommend to anyone that wants to go on a trip is never drink the tap water!  I also think that people who frequently travel should get into a habit of either packing or buying bottled water along the way.

This doesn't only apply to third world countries - drinking foreign water is as much of a shock to your system as eating a foreign meal, even though its results are often less outwardly noticeable.  I can prove this by challenging disbelievers to a simple experiment: try taking all your usual shower products on your next trip and see if you notice a difference in the way your shampoo, soap, shaving gel, toothpaste etc lathers or rinses off.  I'll bet you do!  This isn't always simply because of water hardness (or softness) - this is often because of other chemicals added as well.

I noticed this when I moved to Atlanta - my conditioner was taking forever to rinse out, my teeth became sensitive and within the first couple of weeks my skin broke out badly!  Ironically, I got used to Atlanta's water after a while and my skin settled back down, only to return home to Aus for a visit where I broke out all over again after a shower!  Logically, if your bath products are performing differently and your skin is reacting, it stands to reason that internally you are reacting as well.

Personally, I am really strict about the water I drink.  In 2011, I got a kidney infection that had me hospitalized for three days, scared out of my wits and in more pain than I can describe.  When I asked the doctor what causes kidney infection, she told me that drinking straight tap water is often worse than not giving your system enough water AND that Atlanta's water reserve was on a calcium deposit so rates of kidney problems are very high in the city!!  From that point, everywhere we go I always wonder what water reservoirs are sitting on top of (or near) and never let even a drop of it touch my open mouth.  I've envisioned radioactive spills, or rubbish floating in the water and like Charlotte from the Sex and the City movie - who instantly got sick when she let some water in her mouth, I'd probably mentally give myself another kidney infection from the stress if I ever let any into mine!

At home we simply have a Brita filter jug that filters our drinking water and when we're out, I always buy still bottled water.  I never drink the water that's brought to our table when we're dining out - even if they say it's filtered, I just don't want to risk it.

Perhaps I'm overly cautious, but those who've had a kidney problem can attest to its horrifying, debilitating pain and will understand why I go to such lengths to protect myself from ever incurring another.  And for everyone else, this advice comes from the purest intent of my heart, simply to warn you and guard you against potential health disasters.  You don't really need to be as extreme as I am, just avoid foreign tap water!

food for thought | canary melon

On a recent visit to Wholefoods, I was taken with an elaborate display of canary melons, something I'd never tried or even heard of.  Feeling adventurous (and somewhat guilty for neglecting my food for thought segment for a while), I decided to give one a try and I'm so glad that I did!

Honestly, I haven't yet found a variety of melon I didn't like: but both Will and I loved the sweetness and texture of the canary melon, which really is (as everyone who's tasted one claims) a perfect cross between a rockmelon (cantaloupe) and a honeydew.  It's perfect for this time of year: refreshing, sweet and beautiful on a fruit platter since there aren't too many other fruits that are bright yellow!

z is (predictably) for zoo

pink flamingos, Atlanta zoo

Stay with me here, yes 'zoo' for letter 'Z' is a predictable topic but it's one that I feel should be mentioned and (hopefully) discussed!  My first impression of zoos in America has been somewhat disappointing.  Although I've only visited two zoos: one in Dallas and one in Atlanta; I have conducted a little research (Google search) on zoos throughout the country and can safely declare my reason for being disappointed: most of the animals aren't even American!

giraffe and zebra at Atlanta Zoo

As the cartoon Madagascar honestly portrayed, every "New Yorker from Central Park" animal was actually African.  Sure: giraffes, lions and hippopotamuses are extraordinary to look at and my goodness the gorilla enclosure in Atlanta is simply divine, but where are the native animals? The bison?  The bald eagles, the moose and wolves?  When I visited an American zoo, I expected to see some native American animals, yet aside from some bird, deer and reptile types - they were all foreign.

rattlesnake, Atlanta zoo

I recently read somewhere (forgive me for being vague) that it's considered cruel keeping a bear in captivity because they become very depressed and moody, often lashing out at carers and viewers.  But isn't this true of all intelligent mammals?  I've heard orcas get the same way and yet they are still kept in tanks.  How can it be considered cruel toward one species and not others?  And if bears cannot be kept in a zoo - what about other native animals?  Are all American animals incapable of captivity?  It makes no sense to me, especially when other animals are transported half way across the world to be enclosed.

gorilla in Atlanta zoo

During this A-Z challenge, my topic has been America from an outsider's perspective and through it, I know I've raised controversial questions and frequently compared it to my own country, Australia.  Permit me to this one last time and just say with utter certainty: Aussie zoos are better!  This is simply because when you visit an Australian zoo, you will see every native animal you've ever read or heard about - from the platypus and wombat to the emu and koala bear.  Often, there'll be an elephant and some zebras too but somehow they are never the main event.  Surely when people visit the USA they would like to see native animals too?  Don't get me wrong, I'll not going to stop visiting them, I love zoos and seeing all kinds of animals make me happy!  But my wish is to see a real moose up close.  A bald eagle would be nice too.

#138596308 / gettyimages.com

Thank you for joining me on this A-Z adventure.  I apologize for blogging a little late at times this past week - I've had some doggy / computer drama at home but it's all good now :)  I've really enjoyed meeting everyone and becoming part of your networks or having you become a part of mine.  I hope we can all stay in touch and catch up again soon!

u is for the USMC

Will is a Marine.  Although he's been out for years, I say is a Marine because once a boy becomes a Marine, he remains one for life.  I wanted to write about the Marines because of my own experiences: my first impressions, my prejudice, my deep dislike that transformed to endless love and what it's like to be married to one.

My first impressions were horrible but this can probably be attributed to the time and place.  When I met my first group of Marines, I was a full-time university student working part time at a restaurant/ bar to pay my bills, in a small town called Rockhampton, in Central QLD Australia.  Not far from this town was a military training ground, Shoalwater Bay, which facilitates simulations and exercise for militia from several different countries, one of these being the United States Marine Corps.  I won't go into detail about other countries but I will say that none of them behaved the way the U.S. Marines did.  Whenever they had free time, they would storm into Rockhampton, drink themselves stupid and crack onto every female with a pulse.  If you were even semi-attractive you were in serious danger of becoming a victim to incessant bull-whistles, vulgarity and all manner of propositions.  Myself and the other girls in town quickly understood why the Marines had such an awful reputation for womanizing and although we thought it shocking that any girl could fall for such sleaze, we each sincerely worried for our friends, hoping no one we knew would add to the 'surge in local pregnancy' statistics that followed the Marines whenever they left a town.  My opinion was set: I hated every one of them.

As I've mentioned in the past when I met Will two years later, I found him arrogant.  Within the first hour, I'd also discovered he'd been in the Corps and thus thought my dislike justified.  His cockiness, to me, was surely a result of spending too much time womanizing and I could never give someone like that the time of day.  Yet within the next few hours, I thought myself in love and by the end of our first week together, I was certain of it.  Of course his own merits had everything to do with this, but his Marine-ness was more of an obstacle than I could have predicted, I flat-out refused to get involved with one. As the weeks went by, my resistance began to crumble and after several frank arguments, Will helped me to better understand the mentality of the boys.  He told me what being deployed, boot camp and war is like, in a way that movies and songs can never convey.  He made me aware of things from their point of view: their desperation, their struggle, their need for intimacy and their 'frankly, not giving a damn.'  They go in as boys: wide eyed, looking for honour and glory.  They become hardened men within months and perhaps for this reason, they are fortunate to be part of a militia that allows them some kind of outlet during their free time.  Although I don't condone their actions in Rockhampton and firmly believe in subtlety, my anger at all of that has dissipated and has long been replaced by pity.

It makes my heart hurt to think of Will as one of those boys, but at the same time, I feel safe knowing my husband is a Marine.  Not only because he's had the training but because of how emotionally strong he is.  I am awed by the sheer amount this man can handle.  And the way he deals with one problem at a time, giving each his full, undivided attention.  He has carried me through physical and home sickness, arguments, grief and more: standing firm and strong just like I envision a soldier would in the face of danger.  There are times when he breaks.  There are times when he needs to be alone.  There are times when he cries. Some times he becomes pensive and just doesn't talk. During all those times I remember what he told me to make me feel pity instead of hate. I remember what he's been through and I give him as much time as he needs because it's worth every hardship, a thousand times over, to be married to a man like Will.

More than anything else, being married to a Marine is like having an enormous family.  Every one of the boys from every one of his platoons is a brother to him and every time I meet one, they become a brother to me as well.  These boys are so real!  So honest and loyal. I love watching them interact, always with heartfelt emotion, kindness and genuine affection. Yes, they are rough as hell and when they're drinking it's best to leave them be - but they are tender when they need to be and I know within my heart that I can call anyone of them, anytime, and they will be there for Will, for me, for our family. The bonds they made, they've made for life and perhaps beyond, for their souls are joined for eternity - of that I'm sure.

q is for qualifications

(I apologize for being a day late with my 'Q' topic; my husband whisked me away for the weekend... but more about that later!)


I've decided to write about qualifications because there are thousands of people in the U.S holding them, who just can't find jobs.  Of course the current state of the economy has plenty to do with that, but perhaps you'll be (as) surprised (as I was) to discover just how big Americans are on networking.
Surely you've all heard the phrase 'it's not what you know that matters: it's who you know,' well this is definitely the case in America.  Yes, I know most countries work this way too, but the preferred networking strategy in the US is handing out / swapping business cards.  It seems like everyone has a card and I was surprised to find kids younger than me - many still in university - handing them out, anxious to make an impression!  While I worked in fashion, I couldn't turn my head without receiving a card from an aspiring designer, writer, model or actor looking for leg up... or even from someone wanting to hire me.  I'd end up with a full bag of business cards after every event and hardly any memory of who they'd come from, never quite sure that this is an effective networking tool.

But card-swapping happens in most business settings, and sometimes socially too.  Americans respond very well to this and will often make notes on the card about their first impressions of the owner.  I never got the hang of this, I mean it's quite different to where I'm from, where we think handing someone a card with your phone number is 'stuck-up.'  I think most Australians (well the friends I've spoken to about this anyway) feel that if we're going to be friends, why can't you just tell me your number so I can save it into my phone?  Does handing me a card with your position somehow make me lucky to be considered as your friend?  Or do you have your dream job and just like to show off?  What's funny though, is that some of the cards I've received from people without qualifications say things under their name like: amateur photographer, animal lover, student at blah blah college, aspiring interior decorator... and so on.  I used to think, 'you paid $25 to print 100 of these?  Why don't you just tell people how to find you on FB so we can read your profile?' lol

Anyway, that's just how it is.  In situations outside of interviews, the people who can hire you are more interested in the impression you make upon them rather than the kind of qualification you hold anyway.  It won't matter to the magazine editor, you've just met at a charity, that you have a masters in journalism if you're an introvert who doesn't approach them all night.  Chances are that the out-spoken lass who's been fetching the drinks and throwing suggestions for features out there will be the one who lands the J.O.B - qualified or not (and business card or not! :P)

a pair of P's for letter P

I couldn't decide upon a specific topic to blog about for letter P so I thought I'd do both my top ideas - keeping them short and sweet of course :)

1. Paper money that all looks the same:
I miss Australia's brightly coloured, different shaped, plastic notes.  Not only for the obvious reasons that everyone knows; like how paper rips, or that it's porous and therefore harbours bacteria plus just feels dirty to touch... but also because I've considered the following scenario: say you're in social a situation with friends, (no let's make that) people that you've only recently met and are trying to impress, when you spot a bill on the ground not far from from you ... with American notes that all look the same - how can you tell whether it's worth bending over to pick it up?  You don't want to be seen as the tight-ass who dives for a 5-er off the dirty ground!!

I mean, with Australian currency you'd likely leave it if it was purple ($5)... depending on how important these new acquaintances are you might even leave a blue ($10), or a red note ($20) casually laying there, but no one would leave a shiny yellow ($50) and certainly not a green bill ($100) laying there!  Picking one of those up would afford you instant center-of-attention-ness with your new posse - especially if you jubilantly proclaim 'drinks are on me!' as you raise it into the air!

It's nice to be given a conscious choice through colour recognition, because you know that with paper money that all looks the same, there's no choice:  you'd leave it laying there to save face in front of your peeps in case it's a $1 bill, then spend all night wondering if you should have risked it in case it was a $100!

2. Pharmaceutical commercials 
Seriously these blow your mind the first time you see them!  In America it's illegal to NOT mention the side affects of any advertised medication so a simple, 30 second ad for headache medicine turns into a two minute event, where after the initial commercial, some guy yaps on about side affects the pills may cause, for example:

Here, take these lovely allergy pills to clear your nose :) 

But beware, side affects include: brain hemorrhaging, unknown bruising, kidney failure, multi-personality disorder, impotence, blindness or absolutely in the worst case may result in limb amputation.

Lol, are you laughing?  Maybe it's best if I demonstrate, check out this popular ad for sleeping pills which screens regularly on everyday TV:

It's actually very mild comparing to many others I've seen which seriously resemble my above joke!

i is for incentivized work

Incentivized work is just another name for working for tips but since it takes forever to type, I'm going to say tips for this post :)

I'm sure it's known far and wide that the American service industry works for tips.  Obviously this includes waiters but I found out the hard way that it also includes hair dressers, nail technicians, spray tanners and any other beautification service folk.  When I say I found out the hard way, I mean that shortly after moving to the States, I got the best eyebrow wax of my life then left without tipping.  Will was waiting in the car and asked me how much I tipped and I turned bright red!  Needless to say I was way too embarrassed to ever go back again, plus I'm sure she would have recognized either me or my "cute" Aussie accent and made my eyebrows uneven for revenge!  Thus, I have missed out on ever experiencing that level of amazing waxing again...

But seriously, in America: when in doubt, always tip!  You see in movies how concierge staff get tipped and I have to say this pays off every time because they appreciate it so much and go above and beyond for you!  Same with landscapers, electricians, car washers, dry cleaners (no one ever tips them but they LOVE it when you do) and so on.

Tipping is a definite cultural aspect that many other countries do not share.  In Australia for example, tipping is considered vulgar and inappropriate with the mentality of: how dare you assume I'm only doing this for the money and not because I enjoy it or am simply willing to help?  Nobody in America pretends to enjoy work or giving exeptional service: work is work and that is money over here. To those foreign to this concept or who think tipping is unnecessary - get a load of this: although minimum wage varies State to State - the average American min wage is $2.  Yep $2.   Think of that next time your waiter fusses over your table!  Without tips, work would be pointless in many scenarios.