this week's tip | open your mind

Do you believe in God?  Which God?  Vishnu?  Arianrhod?  Ahura Mazda?   Tsohanoai?

I believe in the faith of endless possibility.  To me, your God is as real as my own but so what?  Does what I believe really impact your life in any significant way?  Why are there people who always try to make someone understand things in their way?  Why is it important that you should agree 100% with me and I, with you?

My dad used to say 'leave the matters of faith alone for your heart to decide: it's a personal decision.'  That's resonated and stayed with me throughout my entire adult life, for I also believe we each have our own path that twists and turns us in its own way.  A way unique of any other that shows us different things and teaches us each a different lesson.  How could I ever possibly see the world the way a 50 year old man living on the Irish coastline would?  Or a 17 year old Somali girl?  Or Giorgio Tsoukalos?   Why are there some that think I need to?  Isn't faith meant to be a very sacred, personal issue to everyone?  Something that brings you comfort and bravery.  I mean honestly, what do you care who I'm praying to in the dead of night?  How does that touch your life at all?

The very idea of converting someone to your religion baffles me.  Mainly because no two people ever really interpret things the same way, but also because of how much one person can change over the course of their lifetime.  I've often heard Christians say that one Bible passage could come to mean two, or three, or even four different things throughout their own lives, depending on the reader's mood, situation, growth or change in life.  Which part then, would you try and make me see?

I dream of a world in which we are each secure enough in our own beliefs that we don't to try cramming them down the throat of anyone else; and not merely from a religious standpoint either.  A world in which government systems aren't so hell-bent on controlling every last one of us, that they feel the need to periodically fuel the hatred and underline the differences between us all.  A perfect utopia in which we are all open-minded enough to believe there is validity in every faith.

What I'm about to say isn't meant to sound like boasting, but I consider my own life as testimony that peace can be attained through open minds.  Consider me briefly:  I was born and raised Russian Orthodox in a communist society | despite a communist, atheist grandfather, who incidentally remains my most beloved relative | my mother is Baptist | my best friend is Baptist | I'm not sure about my bro exactly, but think he's somewhere between Christian and ancient-astronaut-theorist | I married a Methodist | moved to America where my closest friends became: (OMG) Muslims (what!), Greek Orthodox, transcendentalists, New Agers, Catholics and (sorry mama) atheists.  Oh, and can you believe I've somehow managed to befriend republicans and democrats (even a tea party enthusiast) alike?  It's baffling...or is it?  Because, in my opinion:  no one cares.  No one I want to be around, anyway.  My friends and I take each other at face value and leave personal beliefs alone, since we all believe you reached your own conclusions on purpose.      

It's so enriching to share your life experience with people from vastly different backgrounds to your own.  To discover how your silly buddy that makes you laugh so hard you get abdominal pain, can even have a sense of humour when he was raised in poverty in Bangladesh.  Or how your Iranian friend's entire family with Zoroastrian beliefs were simply told to convert to Islam and within a week had their homes stripped of any Zoroastrian book or artifact, who has legitimate reasons to despise Muslims, but doesn't.

It's an enormous world and I think it's fair to state that every 7+ billion of us have a unique perspective and personal belief.  I will never make you try and see the world through the eyes of a girl born in Kazakhstan during the Soviet Union era but grew up in Australia.  Nor could I ever fully adopt your point of view.  I do believe, however, that with an open mind we can empathize with each other and learn so much about what it is to live in this world.  Isn't that what we're here for?

Peace out.    

celebrate the (big and) small things | Jan 23

After a gloomy and cold couple of days I'm celebrating the sun coming out in time for the weekend! Hooray!  Everything looks more cheerful with a sunny backdrop!

Also this week I'm celebrating two new additions to the family:

a baby blue point juniper and Baxter, saying hello

and a baby lavender <3
(this will be my third attempt at growing the herb, so fingers crossed!)

And something that's always cause for celebration is dates with girlfriends! This week I've had two!  Lunch and a wedding dress fitting with my girl Meredith who gets married in May // then The Theory of Everything at the cinemas with my love Susanna.

I should mention that this movie, about the life of Stephen Hawking, blew my mind and opened my eyes in a way I can't describe.  I highly, highly recommend it and plan on buying it for myself the second it comes out on dvd.  Perhaps the biggest thing I should celebrate this week is the lesson I received from this incredibly moving film - about the tenacity, positivity and sheer purity of the soul of the man who has achieved so much despite a horribly debilitating disease: a condition that surely would have destroyed a lesser man.  It's a testimony to the human being, really, that in spite of body wasting away, the mind can reach such heights through simple, unwavering determination and positivity.

I actually haven't stopped crying.  I mean I've literally been breaking down on and off since watching it.  Its impact so deep that it's caused me to reevaluate my life and all my bull-shit, nonexistent, self-pitying excuses about why I haven't grabbed life by the scruff of the neck and fought for my dreams.  I'm filled with shame for myself, and awe for the man.  I have a renewed sense of determination and believe that if Stephen Hawking can smile and achieve more than anyone ever thought he was capable of, I simply have no excuse.  How can I even dare to invent one?  I refuse to wallow any longer!  Please do yourselves a favour and see this film.  If it doesn't drastically affect your outlook on life, then at least you will know more about what it's like to walk in the shoes of this lovable, brilliant, radiant man.  If you're anything like me, you'll be left with a bit of a crush really.

Hope everyone has a marvelous weekend.  Don't forget to give thanks for your able bodies, mouths that speak, eyes that see and ears that hear!  For that alone, you are blessed.

this week's tip | do something that scares you

After writing all about my public squid eating experience, I realized that doing something scary actually feels very rewarding afterwards!

For me, the self-conscious scenario of eating an unconventional food was made worse by the fact that I was sitting in a busy food court, alone, and already feeling exposed.  When you're eating out with somebody, you rarely notice anyone else and you don't really care about how messy you are.  But in lone-dining situations, I always find myself eating very carefully, tying not to spill or slurp.  In all honestly, my self-consciousness probably wasn't even about what I was eating, so much as the vulnerability I felt at having an audience.

It's not that I'm agoraphobic, or anthropophobic, but am I alone in feeling like I'm being stared at and judged when I eat in front of a bunch of strangers by myself?  Even if no one is looking!  It's a tense situation, I don't like how it feels and I try to find corner tables whenever I can... but having said that, I will own to feeling a triumphant sense of victory when I'm successfully done eating at a center table, then I can rise from the table and leave gracefully - without tripping, dropping anything or bumping anything!

This empowering, triumphant feeling makes it all worth it and it's why I repeatedly choose to eat in a food court or crowded restaurant, alone.  It's like a test for my confidence and a way to desensitize myself from that feeling of discomfort.  With frequent, successful experiences: I'm sure it's bound to work.  I'm bound to overcome this fear of dining alone - whether I spill everything, break the chair simply by sitting on it, or topple the whole table over.  Yep, eventually, it's bound to work.  And eventually, I'll stop picturing these types of worst-case scenarios!

In a moment of sheer zen, I envision myself casually sitting at a fancy, busy restaurant all alone.  I'm drinking red wine over a white table cloth and white summer dress, eating raw oysters, squid or anything else unconventional that I feel like.  I imagine the careless feeling within, that my grown confidence has bestowed and I see myself smiling as I remember how afraid of this exact scenario I used to be.  I can feel how wonderful it is.  I am chilled.  I have slayed that dragon, conquered something that used to terrify me and now I am cool, collected and chic.  I wish the same for you.

food for thought | squid

On Monday I went out for lunch and chose a squid salad because Will was nowhere in sight.  Had he been around, he would have cringed, pulled faces and made disgruntled remarks about how gross it was - and I wouldn't have enjoyed my yummy meal at all.   Yet as I sat at that WholeFoods table alone, with Will's repulsion in my mind's eye, I started wondering if people around me were having similarly disgusted reactions and felt very self-conscious.  Many people are grossed out by squid tentacles and as I became increasingly paranoid, I subtly glanced around to ensure no one was dry-reaching or holding their noses and pointing at me!    

It seems funny now, in the comfort of home, but it is quite a self-conscious scenario.  Australians and Americas alike are not the most polite when it comes to food etiquette: happy to openly reject something new, without trying it, and more than happy to belittle the eater!  I would have felt just as under-the-spotlight if I had suddenly reacted on a compulsion to strip down to my jocks and start dancing on the table!  As it was, I sat there trying to take big mouth fulls - desperately trying to avoid that dreaded tentacle-sticking-out-of-mouth scenario!  And I wished I had my very confident, very loud Greek friend beside me, eating her own squid salad and name-calling the haters!  Most European countries eat squid without flinching and it seems silly to care about the opinions of others... 

Eventually I did feel foolish and cursed Will for making me feel so paranoid about my choice in lunch.  I looked down at my delicious meal with the squishy, chewy texture I love so much and considered a world in which I cared so much about what others thought that I never ate squid again!  Nope - not worth it.  Sure, it has tentacles, which feel weird on your tongue.  Sure it's rubbery and takes a little work to break down... but to me it's worth it because the trade off is the taste of the very ocean!  Meaty, salty goodness: so high in protein, so low in anything bad!

My name is Lena.  And I lurve squid.  Deal with it. 

In its raw form: squid (purple, with tentacles) and
calamari (white tubes without tentacles)

this week's tip | improve your karma, try trash free

To recommence this segment for a brand new year, I want to kick it off with a topic that's very near to my heart: the trash free lifestyle.

A trash free (also known as zero waste) lifestyle is exactly what it sounds like ~

 a way of life in which nothing is contributed to landfill.  

Where everything you use is either recyclable, repurpose-able or compostable: 

in an effort to decrease the global magnitude of trash and, consequently, the devastating toll it's taking on our Mother Earth.  

Happily, this lifestyle is gaining popularity and many bloggers have worked their butts off to increase its awareness and share their stories.  My favourites are:

Trash is for tossers (excellent summary article by the author here)

Trash Free Year

no trash project 

Trash Free Living here or here

While I'm not even close to mastering the ultimate goal of absolutely no trash, like some of the above gurus: I have taken very conscious steps to reduce the amount of trash leaving this household.  Right now we are down to just one biodegradable, tall bin liner per week!!   Fortunately, we live in a city that's very environmentally aware and amazingly has its own trash free by 2040 goal, making it very easy to be proactive in the lifestyle here in Austin; but I know this isn't the case everywhere.  If you live somewhere without a recycling program but still wish to jump on board, there are some amazing suggestions here and here.

The top 11 steps I've taken to become trash free:

1.  diligently recycling everything that's allowed!  Plastic, paper, cardboard, steel cans and tins, unbroken glass, polystyrene and so on.  This takes so much out of the bin - I'd say two thirds at least  - and I'm frequently astonished at cities (ahem Atlanta) that don't recycle!! 

2.  donating all unwanted clothes, household items and furniture to places like Goodwill.  Neither Will nor I have ever curbed anything. 

3.   grocery stores throughout Austin don't give you plastic bags for your purchases, but even if they did: I'd still only take my reusable grocery totes!

4.   repurposing as many items as I can: used candle tins have become catch-alls and flowerpots (by making nail holes for drainage underneath) // old Birchbox boxes are used as present boxes // mason jars are all over the house serving any purpose you can think of - tea canisters, dry herb containers, bath salt holders, drinking and cocktail glasses... you name it!

5.  buying in bulk wherever I can: like dog food, aforementioned bath salts, dish washing detergent and liquid hand soap.  Back at the house these all get distributed into glass jars, yes, even the hand and dish soap: meaning I get to recycle one large item of packaging, instead of several small ones.

6.  I bought a re-usable BPA free cup from Starbucks for $1 so that I don't have to constantly use and discard their paper ones, which adds up to a lot for me.  The plastic cup literally pays for itself within the next few visits because as soon as you mention that you have one, Starbucks gives you 10c off your beverage!  

**

I know drinking from plastic, even BPA free, isn't for everyone because of the other toxins it leaks, I just haven't made that leap yet, but Starbucks (and many other places) have excellent and very fancy ceramic alternatives!

7.  using live or dried elements of nature as seasonal decorations instead of plastic/ synthetic ones.  Over the past two Christmases, I have incorporated the discarded live pine tree trimmings from hardware stores - turning them into garlands, bouquets, arrangements and wreaths.  That way, once the season is over, I return them to the earth so that they may come full circle. 

**

 I've also completely boycotted plastic gift wrap paper, opting instead for butcher's paper, recycled paper and twine or cloth ribbons; which are all far quicker 'biodegraders'.  

(my Xmas gift wrap pics here .  Yes, the foliage is shamefully plastic, but 

I want to mention that I've been reusing it 3 years in a row). 

***

   There are so many other raw materials you can use throughout the year, like cotton stalks for spring or hay bails, dried wheat and fruit for autumn!  Be as creative as you like 

(and share your ideas along the way!)

8.  Will and I drink a lot of tea and I became very aware of the amount of used tea bags we were discarding, so some time ago we started buying the tea we most often drink (earl grey and jasmine green) in bulk, loose leaf form.  Now we simply steep the leaves through a stainless steel mesh tea net and are able to use the old leaves as compost, significantly reducing the amount of bags in the kitchen bin!

9.  cleaning products and methods have been the most trash producing in our home.  I'm a huge germaphobe and don't like using soggy hand towels or cloths, so had always used paper towels or clorox wipes for cleaning messes.  But just like the tea bags, one day I noticed the amount of these in our bin, found out the wipes aren't biodegradable and I decided to try something different.  Old cotton washcloths with marks or stains that weren't coming out became rags that I now use in conjunction with disinfectant spray.  Luckily, we had so many of these that I'm able to dry them out in between several uses - then it's off to the wash!  Leaving nothing for the landfill and only one recyclable plastic spray bottle every couple of weeks. 

10.  although I love to hand-write, still keep a journal and often write blog posts or work assignments by hand before typing them up, I've started using scrap paper (like bills, letters from the vet & bank, not to mention the envelopes they arrive in) to write these drafts.  This ensures I don't waste a clean sheet of paper on something I'll inevitably throw away... even if it is destined for recycling.

11.  as a doggy mama, I value the importance of how quickly doo-doo bags can add up and only choose biodegradable, compostable options like these.

I know I still have a long way to go and I also know that all I can ever control are my own actions, but I implore you to consider the massive strain our planet is already under and hope you'll agree that it's worth making yourself more accountable for the footprints you're leaving behind.  If we could each decrease our amount of weekly rubbish by even 5%: the overall result would decrease global trash and benefit our planet drastically!  When  I read articles like this one, I know the time has come for me to make a change and simply being too lazy to wash something is no longer an excuse I can validate for myself.  I truly appreciate you reading and hope to hear your feedback, or the steps you're taking to help soon :)

this week's tip | how to avoid the 'petty purchases' conflict

Whether you're a young couple that's starting out in life like Will and I, or a couple that's on a budget; chances are, one member of the relationship wants pretty, new things more often than the other and feels the need to justify certain purchases from time to time.  In fact, this petty purchases conflict seems to be inevitable in most households no matter the relationship phase!

In our home, I'm usually the culprit or purchaser (surprised? I think not...) and my weakness and compulsion is things that make the house smell good, which are harder to hide than, say... a top (oh honey, I've had this for ages, you never notice! - sound familiar?).  I like to have a candle burning beside me whenever I write, read or have a bath and I light one at least once a week inside our wardrobe to keep our clothes smelling fresh.  Basically, Will knows the moment he steps a foot through the front door whenever I've spent money on fragranced candles, satchels or wax for the burners (especially if I change the scent!) and this is followed by a nice, lengthy conversation that goes a little like: "LENA!! Do we really need this right now? This is a rental for heaven's sake.  We're buying a house soon, you need to stop these petty purchases!"   :)

**My usual justifications include 'it's still cheaper than if I was a smoker,' 'studies have shown that clean smelling air is cleaner, period' and 'the place is old and smells bad without it.' **  - NB: I do not condone arguing!  Just saying.

I have found that his negative reaction is heightened when the house smells 'girly,' 'fuity,' or 'cakey.'  I also discovered, when I purchased a masculine-scented reed diffuser for his bathroom, that he didn't say a word about it!  Being a loving, caring wife, I decided to see if I could make him happier by switching out my favourite home scents for spicier, woodier, more masculine ones and, wouldn't you know it, I had positive results!  He definitely stopped complaining about me 'wasting money on things that smell like sh-' well bad!  And now he only grumbles when he notices a new (or different) candle standing on the coffee table or in my office - not the smell!

Now I've come to believe that you can avoid the petty purchases conflict (or decrease it at least!) by finding a balance between what you both like!  I'm lucky in the home scents department because there are so many fragrances available these days to please both male and female alike, but I believe with a little thought and experimentation, you can apply this to just about anything!  Maybe think about how the purchase is a good thing (does it increase your confidence etc) and convey that to your other half who may not understand.  Good luck!  I'd love to hear how it works out!  And I'd love to know what are some of your 'petty purchases?'      

accountability

With more than half the year done and dusted // only four months of 2014 remain people!! // I thought it would be a great time to revisit those NYE goals I set for myself all those long months (that feel like yesterday) ago.  Nothing like a bit of accountability in the middle of an otherwise carefree summer!

Here is what my goals looked like: 

I made a pretty collage AND cut out the word resolution to make it seem
less daunting!

My first category was travel goals - domestic and international: none of which have yet been met. With the purchase of a new house looming on the horizon, it will be a miracle if any of these are actually met this year... but I won't give up hope!

Next was my personal expansion goals which were to meditate daily, continue reiki, grow herbs and take a hair styling course: again, I seem to have failed in each one other than the herbs!  I refuse to focus on negatives, so let me assure you that while I'm no master at herb growing - my basil, dill and peppermint are all looking sublime!  As for the rest, I am no longer interested in a hair styling course (what the???) and plan to do more reiki soon - hopefully to be followed by meditating!  Still got four months to do this!

In the health category I am kicking serious butt!  I have done every one of these // very successfully, YAY //  I have not only 'cut down'  my sweet tooth, but almost entirely cut out refined sugars from my diet; I am more active and use the time every morning when the pups stretch to stretch also; AND I've cut back on caffeine substantially!  Feeling very good about this category :) now it makes sense why I've lost so much weight since moving to ATX!

In my last category I had overall improvement goals which were to: write more, cook more, keep existing plants living, contact friends and fam more, walk the pups more and write on Baxter's blog more... well here I had a real hit and miss.  I don't write more - but I have managed to blog on a more frequent basis than I used to; I am cooking more and loving it; while I haven't been able to save several plants (eg. Xmas poinsettia's), I am much better at caring for them in general; I've become 100% better at staying in touch with peeps; definitely walk the pups more; but have let Baxter's blog down in a big way...

It's interesting to look at these goals and self-assess at this point.  I realize how much I've changed and how some things just aren't a priority anymore.  I'd still like to hold myself accountable for my health and personal development, but now new things are important that I didn't even know about back then.  I'm glad I set those goals that have shown be just how much I've evolved over the past seven months!  If I had to set new goals it would look like this:

-travel// domestic: Boston, Maine.  International: Ireland & the UK (because one should always keep reaching for the stars!)

-personal expansion// reiki, meditate, affirmations, practice more metaphysics, read more, listen better, learn more. (esp about plants), increase vocabulary, practice foreign languages, keep trying not to judge others!

- health// keep kicking butt, but also keep oil pulling, drinking lemon water, doing your own nails, being strict about what goes on and into your body, ride a bicycle more often and exercise more.

- overall improvement// write more, cook more, continue to stay out of family drama (remember two sides & true intentions!), learn more about blogging/ writing and freelance to turn passion into career! Never stop trying to reach those goals - but in the mean time, find a job that pays better!  And don't be so hard on yourself - remember: you are right where you're meant to be, always!

this week's tip | eat veggies for breakfast

Ok, we're all super busy: working, travelling, taking care of our families (whatever shape they may take), trying to stay fit and meet personal goals as well!  There often just aren't enough hours in the day to fit everything and if you're like me, you're also plagued by that little voice in the back of your head telling you that you need to eat better while relaying your vegetable count for the day!

I used to feel the pressure every night having to fit the 7 vegetable/ 2 cup count into dinner because I ate oatmeal in the mornings and a variation of either a quick-snack, or nothing at all lunch!  Sometimes (especially in a rush) it was impossible to come up with a meal idea that incorporated veggies AND didn't take long to prepare, so I would cave and make a pasta dish without any veggies at all!  (spaghetti bolognese anyone?).  After a few close calls with my  head almost exploding, I decided to start my day with vegetables - making my usual quick-snack lunch easier to forgive and taking the pressure off dinner.

It's actually quite easy to eat veggies for breakfast. There are so many highly nutritional, quick and simple breakfast ideas around that keep you as full as oatmeal.  Here are a few:

1. an omelette: you can mix just about any vegetable into an omelette.  My faves are asparagus, zucchini, capsicum (red pepper), spinach and mushrooms!  
2. avocado toast: I like to lightly sprinkle mine with salt and pepper, yum yum yum! 
• It's easy to add more veggies to this - I like green capsicum (peppers), watercress and tomatoes (although technically not a veg).    
#127600441 / gettyimages.com


3. hash browns: these don't have to be oily and horrible!  Shred some potatoes (or sweet potatoes) into a frying pan of coconut oil, fry until brown and enjoy a healthy, guilt-free, trans-fat free treat!  One that you probably haven't had in ages! 
4. mushroom melt: if you work from home, or give yourself plenty of time to get ready in the mornings, you'll lurve this one!  It takes about half an hour to prepare but it's worth it.  I like to make this as a weekend breakfast for Will and I: it keeps us FULL! 
• You just need to preheat the oven, prep the mushroom (wash it, remove the stalk), fill it with whatever veggies (ham or other meat) you like, crack a small egg into it, sprinkle with cheese (opional) and bake for 15-20 mins. 
#158426913 / gettyimages.com


5. veggie smoothie: no better way to get all 7 veggies and two cups straight away than mixing a juice or smoothie.  The one pictured with this post is the Citrus Veggie Smoothie  from Santa Cruz Organic, where you can find many more delicious recipes! 
• Of course, smoothies don't keep you full very long so make sure to put a nut bar into your handbag on your way out of the door!

If you don't like the idea of being nontraditional, why not try a savoury oatmeal? Just grate in some carrots, cucumbers and add some nuts instead of the usual sweet cinnamon and fruit or whatever.  It's very tasty and you can find plenty of recipes online!

this week's tip | don't drink the water

One thing I absolutely, wholeheartedly recommend to anyone that wants to go on a trip is never drink the tap water!  I also think that people who frequently travel should get into a habit of either packing or buying bottled water along the way.

This doesn't only apply to third world countries - drinking foreign water is as much of a shock to your system as eating a foreign meal, even though its results are often less outwardly noticeable.  I can prove this by challenging disbelievers to a simple experiment: try taking all your usual shower products on your next trip and see if you notice a difference in the way your shampoo, soap, shaving gel, toothpaste etc lathers or rinses off.  I'll bet you do!  This isn't always simply because of water hardness (or softness) - this is often because of other chemicals added as well.

I noticed this when I moved to Atlanta - my conditioner was taking forever to rinse out, my teeth became sensitive and within the first couple of weeks my skin broke out badly!  Ironically, I got used to Atlanta's water after a while and my skin settled back down, only to return home to Aus for a visit where I broke out all over again after a shower!  Logically, if your bath products are performing differently and your skin is reacting, it stands to reason that internally you are reacting as well.

Personally, I am really strict about the water I drink.  In 2011, I got a kidney infection that had me hospitalized for three days, scared out of my wits and in more pain than I can describe.  When I asked the doctor what causes kidney infection, she told me that drinking straight tap water is often worse than not giving your system enough water AND that Atlanta's water reserve was on a calcium deposit so rates of kidney problems are very high in the city!!  From that point, everywhere we go I always wonder what water reservoirs are sitting on top of (or near) and never let even a drop of it touch my open mouth.  I've envisioned radioactive spills, or rubbish floating in the water and like Charlotte from the Sex and the City movie - who instantly got sick when she let some water in her mouth, I'd probably mentally give myself another kidney infection from the stress if I ever let any into mine!

At home we simply have a Brita filter jug that filters our drinking water and when we're out, I always buy still bottled water.  I never drink the water that's brought to our table when we're dining out - even if they say it's filtered, I just don't want to risk it.

Perhaps I'm overly cautious, but those who've had a kidney problem can attest to its horrifying, debilitating pain and will understand why I go to such lengths to protect myself from ever incurring another.  And for everyone else, this advice comes from the purest intent of my heart, simply to warn you and guard you against potential health disasters.  You don't really need to be as extreme as I am, just avoid foreign tap water!

this week's tip | succulents for summertime

I truly love the idea of growing plants.  My dream is to have mismatched pots scattered about the place with bright flowers and big, green leaves; filtering the air and cheering up the place.  Some of my earliest childhood memories from Kazakhstan are of my grandmother's flowers that were perched upon every windowsill in her downtown apartment.  Unfortunately the green-thumb that everyone else on my mother's side inherited skipped me entirely and left my own thumb looking a little blue.

This spring was a perfect example: I tried growing herbs with puzzling results!  My harder-to-grow peppermint, parsley and basil are all looking splendid; while my poor (apparently easy to grow) coriander, lemon balm and dill have seen better days.  Since I'm seriously lacking the aforementioned green thumb, I have no explanation as to why this could be - instead (logically) becoming upset every time a plant starts to die and taking it personally.

After some experimentation and a stubborn refusal to give up, I have found the perfect solution for the plant-challenged like me: succulents and cacti!  For one thing, they look amazing as summery accents with my Southwestern decorating scheme; especially in rustic clay or (my fav!) talavera style pots. And for another, they're virtually impossible to neglect - only requiring one watering per week (a very small one in the case of the cactus) and very occasional re-potting!

I purchased my very first succulent, a Jade plant, shortly after moving to Austin in October last year and am happy to report it's doing very well :)

Recently I purchased two more that look like flowers - one to sit on the coffee trunk and another for a side table:

Bright Kilim rug coming soon! 

My prized prickly pear cactus was, as many of you know, a souvenir from our Xmas in the desert.  

In case you need more convincing, or have a green thumb and can successfully grow many plant varieties, I have linked up some ways in which my fave bloggers use succulents for decorating: Cupcakes and Cashmere, Sincerely Jules, a Beautiful Mess.

Now that I've finally found the plants for me - my plan is to buy several more, plant them in gold, silver and talavera style pots, then scatter them about the house to see if I can make my plants-everywhere dream come true!  Wish me luck and try one out for yourself!  They're the perfect summertime plant and would even make a great hostess gift :)

PS: The myth is that succulents need a lot of light, but when I worked in the J.Crew bridal office we had a Jade plant that grew on our bookshelf without any windows at all!  Artificial light was enough.

PPS: A cactus is technically a succulent too!

this week's tip | try drinking warm lemon water

I've had a few people lately asking me whether I've lost weight and although I have lost a little, it's not significant enough for it to actually be noticeable.  When I examined my past and present photos, I realized it's because I'm toning up that people are noticing and remarking.  My secret?  Simply drinking a cup of warm lemon water first thing every morning!

I started drinking lemon water about two months ago, after (my idol) Gisele Bundchen posted the recommendation on her Instagram, claiming that it boosts the immune system, balances ph levels and aids digestion.  Well I didn't need to be told twice and since then I've noticed several wonderful things.  Firstly, despite not changing my diet or exercise regime at all - I'm toning up!  Secondly, I feel more energetic - often not needing a cup of coffee afterwards!  Thirdly (which might be aided by my coconut oil pulling) hangovers are a thing of the past!

Drinking warm lemon water is easy!  The more lemon you can stand, the better: some people (Gisele Bundchen) squeeze an entire lemon into their water, others do half.  As for me, one third of a lemon (two thick slices) is all I can stand to comfortably drink and I believe it's enough to start reaping visible benefits.  I just muddle the slices in the bottom of my mug to release the juice and nutrients from the rind, then pour boiling water over the top and wait several moments for it to cool before drinking it as fast as I can.  It tastes great and has many other benefits, but don't take my word for it!  Here are some of my favourite articles on the topic, or you can do a lemon water google search for yourself.

Lemon water can improve your morning (and day) by the Huffington Post Canada

10 Benefits of drinking warm lemon water by Tasty Yummies

An incredibly effective, no diet/ no fasting, lemon detox by Pure Inside Out

11 Benefits of lemon water you didn't know about by Life Hack

this week's tip | use all five senses for the best travel experience

at Hyde Park, Sydney

To get back into the swing of dishing out advice, I thought I'd recommence my weekly tip segment with a topic I'm almost a pro at: travel.  This particular tip comes from the bottom of my heart because I sincerely believe you will make the most out of every place you visit if you take it (and it's simple): walk, don't drive. 

When you walk around, all five of your senses are engaged in the experience, allowing you to get the most out of it and cement it in your memory.  Driving past, through or over famous landmarks will never give you the same feel as if you walk them!  When you're out there amongst it all is when you get the chance to hear and smell the city and its vibe.  You feel the ground beneath your feet and the air as it grazes your skin.  You are free to pause for as long as you like to admire or photograph something you see.  And there's always a much greater chance of stopping along the way to touch artifacts and taste local snacks or drinks!

To me, driving through a place is almost like watching it on TV.  Sure, you see the landmarks just fine and can take a snapshot, but trust me: without smelling, hearing, tasting and touching things along the way, you're getting hardly anything out of your visit.  And you'll forget it all anyway!  Luckily Will, who used to be a drive-by-er, has come around to my way of travelling :) Now whenever we visit somewhere new, we look for a hotel in a central location, drop our things off and go exploring on foot.
Without walking around places, we never would have experienced so many of the wonderful memories we've made, like when we:

• discovered the piano player in Manhattan's Washington Square Park
• got spontaneous upper lobe piercings in Queensland's Surfer's Paradise
• stumbled across an Hounfour that spooked us out of our brains in New Orleans!
• rescued a sea turtle on the Great Barrier Reef...

Just to name a few!  

pushing my luck in New York's East Village

meeting the locals at German Festival, Mt Tamborine QLD

u is for the USMC

Will is a Marine.  Although he's been out for years, I say is a Marine because once a boy becomes a Marine, he remains one for life.  I wanted to write about the Marines because of my own experiences: my first impressions, my prejudice, my deep dislike that transformed to endless love and what it's like to be married to one.

My first impressions were horrible but this can probably be attributed to the time and place.  When I met my first group of Marines, I was a full-time university student working part time at a restaurant/ bar to pay my bills, in a small town called Rockhampton, in Central QLD Australia.  Not far from this town was a military training ground, Shoalwater Bay, which facilitates simulations and exercise for militia from several different countries, one of these being the United States Marine Corps.  I won't go into detail about other countries but I will say that none of them behaved the way the U.S. Marines did.  Whenever they had free time, they would storm into Rockhampton, drink themselves stupid and crack onto every female with a pulse.  If you were even semi-attractive you were in serious danger of becoming a victim to incessant bull-whistles, vulgarity and all manner of propositions.  Myself and the other girls in town quickly understood why the Marines had such an awful reputation for womanizing and although we thought it shocking that any girl could fall for such sleaze, we each sincerely worried for our friends, hoping no one we knew would add to the 'surge in local pregnancy' statistics that followed the Marines whenever they left a town.  My opinion was set: I hated every one of them.

As I've mentioned in the past when I met Will two years later, I found him arrogant.  Within the first hour, I'd also discovered he'd been in the Corps and thus thought my dislike justified.  His cockiness, to me, was surely a result of spending too much time womanizing and I could never give someone like that the time of day.  Yet within the next few hours, I thought myself in love and by the end of our first week together, I was certain of it.  Of course his own merits had everything to do with this, but his Marine-ness was more of an obstacle than I could have predicted, I flat-out refused to get involved with one. As the weeks went by, my resistance began to crumble and after several frank arguments, Will helped me to better understand the mentality of the boys.  He told me what being deployed, boot camp and war is like, in a way that movies and songs can never convey.  He made me aware of things from their point of view: their desperation, their struggle, their need for intimacy and their 'frankly, not giving a damn.'  They go in as boys: wide eyed, looking for honour and glory.  They become hardened men within months and perhaps for this reason, they are fortunate to be part of a militia that allows them some kind of outlet during their free time.  Although I don't condone their actions in Rockhampton and firmly believe in subtlety, my anger at all of that has dissipated and has long been replaced by pity.

It makes my heart hurt to think of Will as one of those boys, but at the same time, I feel safe knowing my husband is a Marine.  Not only because he's had the training but because of how emotionally strong he is.  I am awed by the sheer amount this man can handle.  And the way he deals with one problem at a time, giving each his full, undivided attention.  He has carried me through physical and home sickness, arguments, grief and more: standing firm and strong just like I envision a soldier would in the face of danger.  There are times when he breaks.  There are times when he needs to be alone.  There are times when he cries. Some times he becomes pensive and just doesn't talk. During all those times I remember what he told me to make me feel pity instead of hate. I remember what he's been through and I give him as much time as he needs because it's worth every hardship, a thousand times over, to be married to a man like Will.

More than anything else, being married to a Marine is like having an enormous family.  Every one of the boys from every one of his platoons is a brother to him and every time I meet one, they become a brother to me as well.  These boys are so real!  So honest and loyal. I love watching them interact, always with heartfelt emotion, kindness and genuine affection. Yes, they are rough as hell and when they're drinking it's best to leave them be - but they are tender when they need to be and I know within my heart that I can call anyone of them, anytime, and they will be there for Will, for me, for our family. The bonds they made, they've made for life and perhaps beyond, for their souls are joined for eternity - of that I'm sure.

r is for random facts

For 'R' I've compiled a list of random facts that start with the letter - all about the things outsiders to America notice upon arrival.  Let's dive straight in:

- red birds: ok, so these birds are called cardinals but they're my favourite birds and I was really just looking for an excuse to throw in a pic!

Photo taken by my talented cousin

- road: 

• traffic moves in the right direction
• rule 1: most States allow you to turn right at a traffic light, if the way is clear.  This is called 'right on red"
• rule 2: some States don't require motorcyclists to wear protective leather or helmets!

- religion: it's more obvious that religion is a big business in America.  You'll see billboards, TV commercials and pamphlets promoting different churches and denominations almost everywhere you go. (Especially in the South).

Yes, that is a church sign beside a strip-club sign
No there's nothing wrong with your eyes.  Thanks to abc.news for this image

Just couldn't resist sharing this one as well! Thanks postkiwi.com

- ratings: that is, TV ratings.  These are (compared to Australia) higher for movies that have sexual references and swearing, but are actually lower for violent movies!  (Also, swearing is still largely unacceptable (unlike Australia) in the media so most channels will bleep out swear words or simply do a voice over - over the swears.  Even words like 'boobs' are considered rude). 

- railway: apart from America's very large cities, travel by railroad is not a popular option.  Most trains you'll see within the country itself are transport ones.

- radical regulations: some of the country's founding laws are either still in place in many states, or have only recently been abolished - whether residents know of them or not.  Will told me about a law that has only been revoked within the past decade, that allowed a man to beat his wife with a stick, as long as was: (a) on the steps of the courthouse (b) on a Wednesday and (c) with a stick no thicker than the width of his thumb!  This law was actually written down in documents and was allowed in many Southern states.  

j is jelly vs jam

Originally I wanted to write a 'J' post on jurisdiction - the laws and police are very different in America, but it's Friday and if you're anything like me, your mind is already on the weekend so I thought a post that was more fun and didn't require that much brain power was in order.  Hence, jam vs jelly.

If you look the word jam up in an American dictionary (or simply on American Google) it is defined as: a verb for the action of squeezing or packing tightly; another for becoming stuck; a noun synonymous with 'paper jams' in a machine or a gathering of musicians who improvise together.

While we also use all those definitions, the most common jam noun in Australia is defined as a sweet preserve made from fruit and sugar boiled to a thick consistency.  To an American, this would simply be called a preserve or (very logically) fruit spread.

mmmm chunky and spreadable

 Americans also have something called jelly: this is a type of jam/ preserve/ fruit spread that has a smooth consistency, free of any chunks whatsoever.  I don't know that there is an Aussie word for this... or even if it exists!  Perhaps it's a blasphemous concept?  Does everyone like the fruit chunks in Australia?  Hmmm...  Maybe it's like ying and yang... can't have one without the other/ can't have jam without fruit chunks!

can't spread it on bread so just eat it with a spoon,
but mmmm... so smooth

Moving on, in Australia jelly is a flavoured gelatin dessert, most commonly fruit flavoured.  And that's what Americans call Jello.  I seriously can't talk about jelly vs jello without thinking of the iconic JELLY ad in Australia (one that every Aussie kid knows at least as well as the Happy Little Vegemite ad).

Ahh memories!  Well I'm off, hope  you enjoyed this little bit of nonsense and hope you have a great weekend!

i is for incentivized work

Incentivized work is just another name for working for tips but since it takes forever to type, I'm going to say tips for this post :)

I'm sure it's known far and wide that the American service industry works for tips.  Obviously this includes waiters but I found out the hard way that it also includes hair dressers, nail technicians, spray tanners and any other beautification service folk.  When I say I found out the hard way, I mean that shortly after moving to the States, I got the best eyebrow wax of my life then left without tipping.  Will was waiting in the car and asked me how much I tipped and I turned bright red!  Needless to say I was way too embarrassed to ever go back again, plus I'm sure she would have recognized either me or my "cute" Aussie accent and made my eyebrows uneven for revenge!  Thus, I have missed out on ever experiencing that level of amazing waxing again...

But seriously, in America: when in doubt, always tip!  You see in movies how concierge staff get tipped and I have to say this pays off every time because they appreciate it so much and go above and beyond for you!  Same with landscapers, electricians, car washers, dry cleaners (no one ever tips them but they LOVE it when you do) and so on.

Tipping is a definite cultural aspect that many other countries do not share.  In Australia for example, tipping is considered vulgar and inappropriate with the mentality of: how dare you assume I'm only doing this for the money and not because I enjoy it or am simply willing to help?  Nobody in America pretends to enjoy work or giving exeptional service: work is work and that is money over here. To those foreign to this concept or who think tipping is unnecessary - get a load of this: although minimum wage varies State to State - the average American min wage is $2.  Yep $2.   Think of that next time your waiter fusses over your table!  Without tips, work would be pointless in many scenarios.

this week's tip | make a 'done it' list instead of a 'to do' list

janemcmaster.wordpress.com

I'm a lists-girl.  Always have been.  Lately though, I seem to be struggling with time management, rarely being able to tick off every item on my daily list.  My routine has always been to make a to-do list for the following day before going to bed at night but lately I keep re-writing the same pesky items that just aren't getting done and then berating myself for them.

Last night, after Will had gone to sleep and I was still up tidying the lounge room, loading the dishwasher and all those other wifey things we need to do before settling for the night, I found myself gritting my teeth at the prospect of tomorrow when I would have to attempt to fit in all the list stuff again.  What had I done all day today, I wondered angrily as I do every other night, that had prevented me from sweeping the front deck or hand washing the dedicates that had now accumulated to max capacity?  So this time, I made a list.

Once I'd actually written down and looked at all the things I had done, I felt much better.  Let me list the things I learnt from this exercise, turns out: 

1. it wasn't a wasted day at all 

2. I had actually done a lot - a few things were spontaneous that needed immediate addressing and weren't on the list, so I didn't give myself credit for them

3. to-do lists can be more a hindrance than a help

4. once it becomes absolutely imperative for me to sweep the deck or wash things I WILL

5. I should give myself more credit

6. there's truth in the saying there just aren't enough hours in the day

Case and point: lists don't prioritize, they guide.  Why should I feel bad for not sweeping the deck when Will came home for lunch so that spare time allotment went into to making his meal instead?  I felt so good about myself after listing what I had done - validated even.  This made me see just how bad my high-pressure to-do lists were making me feel and I wondered how many other women do this?  

Instead of adding pressure to ourselves, let's give ourselves some recognition and much needed love!  Next time you feel like you're not good enough, take my advice and make a list of things you HAVE done - you'll instantly see that not only are you efficient: you're great at juggling all those spanners that get thrown into the works as well!

this week's tip | try oil pulling

After publicly announcing my eastern medicine preference (and therefore basically declaring myself a hippie), I was thrilled to discover just two days later that oil pulling was taking cyber space by storm with its amazing results! I always want to take any opportunity to advocate for eastern / alternative medicine but not blindly - so I decided to forgo last week's tip to conduct an experiment instead: my own oil pulling experience which I commenced on Sunday 10th March.  Now, just one week later, I am already thrilled with the results and ready to dish out some advice on the matter.

Firstly, for those who don't know what oil pulling is, a very quick explanation is taking a table spoon of oil and swishing it around your mouth for 20 mins.  The purpose is to 'pull out' food particles or bacteria with the oils' sticky texture. Instead of going into details about the procedure, benefits, oil types to be used or success stories, I have linked up various articles that do so much better than I can - most of which are extensively researched on the matter and include references (for you skeptics :P).

My own results are as follows:
- teeth are much whiter (goodbye teeth whitening strips forever!)
- sensitivity gone
- hardly any plaque buildup during the day - teeth constantly feel glassy and clean
- teeth feel thicker and stronger 
- bad breath? what bad breath?  Even the morning breath is gone!
- skin is clearer
- MOST EXCITING (and completely unexpected):: THE WRINKLES AROUND MY EYES ARE DISAPPEARING!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know this is 100% due to the oil pulling because I've not altered my cleansing/ moisturizing routine or diet in anyway.

I've blogged before about coconut oil but for those readers who haven't already rushed out to stores (or THIS website) and bought the magical oil that has so many uses and properties: do so immediately!  Try oil pulling with it:  if only to see whiter teeth after the very first swish and save yourself the $60 you would have otherwise spent on whitening strips.

...If you find the whole thing repulsive or happen to experiment with oils and find another (eg sesame) that works better for you - coconut oil has many non-edible, household uses as well that can be implemented in every home!  From polishing metals to conditioning leather - there's really no limit to what it can do.